Posts by cognizant dissident

82

Have You Ever Met A "Celebrity" or Actually See One Face To Face?

by minimus in

jw
friends

while i was in new york i walked by two men and one looked like the comedian jackie mason whom i adore.

i looked at him and said, "i just wanted to say how much i enjoy your shows.

i've seen you perform a number of times".

cognizant dissident

I talked to Charlton Heston on the phone once when I was a receptionist for a bankruptcy accounting firm who were handling the bankruptcy of a local studio. He wanted to rent the studio for a film he was making in town. He really does come across as quite pompous. He kept repeating his name to me because I guess I didn't gasp and swoon sufficiently when he said who he was the first time. Also, I couldn't magically pull the accountant he wanted to talk to out of a meeting and make him come to the phone. He had to leave a message and wait for a call back like everyone else. I guess he didn't like that.

My husband also met Robert Redford in the 1970's when he shared a ski lift with him in Utah. He said he was very nice. Just chit chatted like a regular guy.

Cog

11

Need to vent

by lola28 in

jw
friends

it's been one of those days, the kind that make you wish you never got up in the morning.

as many of you know my younger sister has lupus and had to go on meds late last year thankfully she has gotten much better these past few months, but it seems that there's always a trade off, we get good news only to be hit by bad news.

a few weeks ago she went to her doctor for a check up and they did a few tests, late last week they called me because they had some bad news, there was sugar in her urine and her blood, it seems that this is a result of the steroids that she is on for the lupus.

cognizant dissident

Hey Lola

Glad you are feeling a little better today. What a difference a bit of rest makes to our outlooks. (I constantly have to remind myself of that too).

I also wanted to say Woohoo! for me because I made Master member on my last post on your thread! I can't think of another thread I would rather have posted it on then a Lupus thread of yours. Remember the night I stayed up all night talking nonsense with you to help you make Jedi?

Keep us posted on you and sis.

Cog

29

missed 2 weeks worth of meetings...now how the hell do I get out?

by SnakesInTheTower in

jw
friends

bear with me please.

a lot on my mind.

skip to the last couple of red paragraphs if you dont have time to read my ramblings.

cognizant dissident

Hey Snakes in the Tower.

I read your entire post. I can empathize. Raised in the truth my whole life. Doubts for the last ten years. Stayed for family, friends, my son who I had programmed with WTBTS bullshit myself and couldn't bear the thought of losing him if it took permanently. Stayed for a few more years, fading but too afraid to come out and say how I really felt, slowly and subtly deprogramming my son, letting him know that what ever he believed was Ok with me and I loved him no matter what.

Last year, I just couldn't do it another day and I realized how angry and ripped off I felt for being lied to and wasting my life pioneering when I could have spent my healthy youth getting a degree or even a doctorate in something for all the time I spent reading watchtower rags. I walked away and have not set foot in a Kingdom Hall, or assembly since that day. My son was still upset, went to a few more meetings with his dad, a few more social gatherings with witnesses, but then he made his stand that he didn't want to be a witness either. For that I will be eternally grateful.

I have not had one visit by any elder since or friend since that time. I was not a fringe fader. My husband was an MS being groomed for eldership and we were very active in the congregation. Our friends were mostly elders. I was positive, I would be chased down and confronted by somebody and not be able to keep my mouth shut and end up df'd as an apostate and shunned. I guess that could still happen but it has been over a year and not a peep or a visit from anyone. Not even my closest friends have asked why. But they don't call anymore so they must suspect something even though I haven't said a word to any of them. I recently told my PO father who is bucking for CO. He was very upset. But he didn't call the local elders and send them to me. He invited me to the last family gathering (they live in another town). He is coming to visit me next week, just for the day. I suspect a major re-conversion attempt is in the works. But I can't say for sure anymore. Never in a million years would I have suspected I could go inactive so totally after being so active and not have one visit or one confrontation.

So, you just do not know what is going to happen and what the outcome will be. You can never know until you do it and find out. But you have to be prepared for any outcome. And that means that you have to be prepared to pay the possible price (shunning) for your freedom. If you are not prepared to pay the price to be totally free, then keep on doing what you are doing. It took me years but then I got so sick of it finally, that I was prepared to pay the price to have my life back and live it on my terms. I'm saying that not everyone who leaves has to pay the ultimate price but everyone who leaves has to be willing to. So, what do you want more. Your freedom and your life back, or your family and friends?

Cog (chooses life class)

11

Need to vent

by lola28 in

jw
friends

it's been one of those days, the kind that make you wish you never got up in the morning.

as many of you know my younger sister has lupus and had to go on meds late last year thankfully she has gotten much better these past few months, but it seems that there's always a trade off, we get good news only to be hit by bad news.

a few weeks ago she went to her doctor for a check up and they did a few tests, late last week they called me because they had some bad news, there was sugar in her urine and her blood, it seems that this is a result of the steroids that she is on for the lupus.

cognizant dissident

Hi Lola

I have Lupus too. One day, I can be feeling fine and making lots of plans for the future. The next day, my meds don't seem to work, my ankles swell up like little balloons and I'm wondering if I have kidney damage from the Lupus or the Lupus meds. A few days later, I seem fine again. The one thing about Lupus is, you really have to take it one day at a time, because you don't know what tomorrow will bring.

I find it helpful to meditate, to stay in the present moment, not to look into the future and think of all the worst case scenarios possible. Also, not to get too attached to my plans or the outcomes. Lupus has taught me to try to find the joy in the present moment. Even when I was in a lot of pain, I found joy and comfort in the love and caring of compassionate people around me.

You are not selfish. You cry and are in pain because you have love and compassion for your sister and also for those other children who you saw, complete strangers, yet you felt for them. I have a mixed feeling for hospitals too. I was studying to be a nurse when I came down with Lupus. I hate going to hospitals too. The thing is, you meet the most amazing people there. Caring, compassionate, courageous. I'm talking about the staff, the patients, and the families who visit. These qualities tend to be contagious and rub off those touched by them. So, you usually come out better than when you went in.

Take it one day at a time. Don't forget to rest and take a break when you need it. Nothing will be gained from letting yourself sick or run down. If you need a break from the hospital and sick kids, take it. No guilt. You have to take care of yourself first before you have anything to give to others.

Hope this helps. Keep us posted on how your little sis is doing. You are an awesome sister!

Cog

21

USA - Don't Pump Gas on May 15th.

by onlycurious in

jw
friends

on may 15th 2007, all internet users are to not go to a gas station in protest of high gas prices.

gas is now over $3.00 a gallon in most places.

there are 73,000,000+ american members currently on the internet network, and the average car takes about 30 to 50 dollars to fill up.

cognizant dissident

So all the people who don't get gas on the 15th are going to get gas on the 16th and the oil companies will get twice as much money on the 16th. Me thinks they are rich enough to wait a day for their funds (I just took a course in economics!) Also, many people might need to get gas on the 15th because their tanks are completely out and they have to get to work. You don't really think anyone would risk their job for this do you? So all that would accomplish is to make everyone wait twice as long in line on the 16th.

I was just in the States. I filled up. Yippee! Gas is over 4 dollars a gallon in Canada. Clothes and shoes were so much cheaper there too. Almost made me wish I was a yankee. And your dollar is worth more. (Not for long, from what I learned in Economics) I hear gas is even more in Europe. It's all relative isn't it? One country's outrageous price is another country's bargain.

Cog (not feeling too sorry for the yanks, yet)

6

You Discover Your Wonderful One-Year-Old Child is, Because of a Mixup at..

by new boy in

jw
friends

the hospital, not yours.

would you want to exchange the child to try to correct the mistake?.

this actually happen to me.

cognizant dissident

I watched a movie about that happening once. A true story. The mixup got discovered because one of the babies was quite ill and later blood tests revealed it couldn't be the father or the mother's child. So I guess it has happened. I think it the movie I saw the nurse did it on purpose for some bizarre reason.

After I had my own baby, though, I wondered how the mother could not have known. I saw my son for an hour or so to breastfeed and then they took him to the nursery for tests. My son had a specific receiving blanket (mine not the hospital's) and a specific balloon tied to his basinette. I left him in a certain spot in the nursery. When I went to get him for the next feeding, I went to the spot, saw the same baloon and receiving blanket, looked in the basinette and nearly had a heart attack becasue I knew instantly that was not my baby! They had taken my son for more blood tests and another mother who coincidentally had the same baloon and receiving blanket had pushed her baby's basinette into the exact same spot where my baby had been.

After that I just didn't understand how a mother could not know her own baby. I could even recognize my baby by smell. His skin smelled exactly like mine. I could tell my baby's cry from all the other's when I was down the hall in my hospital bed and they opened the nursery door. It was weird. The only way I could see it happening is if the mother was unconscious at delivery and they took the baby away without her ever seeing or holding it. That almost never happens nowadays. Maybe it happened more in the 50's.

Cog (believes in trusting mother's instincts)

36

Would you do it for the sake of the kids?

by pratt1 in

jw
friends

i have a very close friend, who is still an active dub.

we have known each other since we were kids and we have been able to maintain a strong friendship - we are actually more like brothers than friends.. we have reached a truce - i don't try to talk him out of being a dub and he doesn't try to talk me out of being an apostate.. we have both worked hard to honor this rule.. my problem is, i am the "godfather" of his son.

meaning if something should happen to him and his wife, i would raise his son.. i have a very close relationship with the boy, he is 7 and smart as a whip.

cognizant dissident

If we take away the factor that gets all of us ex-JW's so emotionally caught up (which is our aversion to JW bullshit) I think it is possible to get a little more balanced perspective. Suppose, that we were going to a school to hear our child or our favorite nephew or niece participate in their first public debate. What if the child/teen was taking the side in the debate that was totally opposite to what we believed on the subject? Would we say we couldn't attend the debate on principle because we didn't agree with the statements that the child was putting forth in their position? Not likely, I don't believe.

Or, take another scenario. What if we were invited to a Jewish friend or relative's wedding. Or an Indian or Islamic friend's wedding. Would we refuse to attend out of protest because we didn't agree with all the religious words or vows said at the ceremony? Or would we listen quietly out of respect and tolerance for another viewpoint, even if not shared?

To many people in the world and maybe some of us, these things would not be big deals or huge issues at all. They can separate their love and respect and support of the person from agreeing with everything they say and believe. To act as if our very presence in listening to another viewpoint or belief is somehow compromising our principles is what was taught to us by JW's. That's thier game. We don't have to buy into it anymore.

I don't believe in Santa Claus. It doesn't compromise my beliefs or principles to listen to a 7 year old child who does believe in Santa tell me all about him and what he thinks Santa will bring him. (I admit, I often compare belief in God to belief in Santa Claus in my mind now)

I say, if you love the kid, go to hear his talk, tell him ahead of time that you will leave right after but maybe take him out for ice cream when it is over or the next day and tell him what a good speaker he is and how impressed you were with his courage of getting up in front of a large group of people and giving a talk. That's something that is hard for most grown-ups.

Even the need to tell the kid afterwards that you didn't agree with what he said is probably over and above what a 7 year old can deal with. That would be more about your own agenda in "needing to have your views understood". It would do nothing for him. (Maybe if he was a teenager that would be OK). It would also be a good excuse for the parents to limit his association with you. Be there for him and what he needs now, when he is 7, which is probably just a supportive presence, and he will come to you when he is 17 and needs someone to talk to about his "doubts". You are just sowing seeds now and biding your time.

Cog

24

Going back to the Watchtower Society right now would be like....?

by journey-on in

jw
friends

"the dog returning to his vomit".

"sticking a needle in my eye".

"spiritual suicide".

cognizant dissident

taking the red pill (or is it the blue pill? I can never remember)

returning to an abuser because of all his good qualitites and he didn't really mean it, nobody's perfect...yada yada yada

74

Should suicidal or self destructive people have free will?

by The Dragon in

been going through my head lately....if you try to prevent them from doing what they want...they see you as the enemy...but are you?.

if you take away their freedom to do so.....are they no longer free?

will they hate you...or thank you when they come to their senses?.

cognizant dissident

have more to say to tetra's post but have to make dinner...

Will come back later....

Cog

74

Should suicidal or self destructive people have free will?

by The Dragon in

been going through my head lately....if you try to prevent them from doing what they want...they see you as the enemy...but are you?.

if you take away their freedom to do so.....are they no longer free?

will they hate you...or thank you when they come to their senses?.

cognizant dissident

But the big question that needs to be carefully consided: When is taking away control not abussive and when is it abusive. A person could be in terrible pain mentally and a good meaning person could step in and prolong agony they have no idea or clue, of what it is like.We can't live in their heads.

Good question. No easy answers. It's the stuff medical ethics classes are made of! I think a good starting point is for would-be helpers and interveners to ask, "What is my intention?". "Is it to benefit the other person? If so, then specifically how am I going to do that? What is likely to be the result of my intervention? Will it have the intended benefical effects?" "Are there special circumstances?" Are my intended interventions subject to peer review and criticism?" "What is the current best practice based on the most up to date empirical evidence available right now?" (These last two are more for professionals than family or friends but the first ones work well for both.) Of course, each person is unique and may respond differently to interventions/treatments and human judgement is faulty and error-prone. That is why we need checks and balances. But these questions are a good starting point. You can see why specialized training in counseling and mental health issues is often necessary for individuals to be sure that what they are doing truly "beneficial". (Interpretation: elders should not be dishing out medical, psychological or any other kind of health advice. They often do more harm than good because they have no training and half the time do not know what they are talking about! Actually, their biblical/spiritual advice is questionable, too. )

Cog